Prozac & Xanax

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They say Prozac revolutionized the way Americans lived with their anxiety and depression issues.
When I first tried it, I was 15 years old.
I was a young, naive girl who fell in love with the wrong person, at a confusing transition in life; high school.
Someone who didn’t think my trust mattered.
He ripped my heart from my chest and toyed with it every chance he got.
But nothing seemed real; my emotions, life, I couldn’t even cry.
Being by myself was the only way I wanted to live.
I cut myself off from my best friends, skipping chances to make memories because of you, Prozac.
Why couldn’t I live like the others?  
They seemed so….happy and carefree.
My mind was numb.
Enough was enough and quitting cold turkey was probably the least favorable and the dumbest decision I have ever made.
Years passed and the enemy grew larger and stronger. 
It was eating me up inside, yet I chose to ignore the influences on my life.
I spent years trying to self medicate.
Alcohol, until the point of blacking out each time.
Hangovers severe, but almost an addictive feeling as it would happen over and over throughout the weekends.
Slowly, my body became consumed by someone fearful of every detail of life.  
Stuttering through painful conversations, like I couldn’t think in a clear way.
It hurt like hell. 
Why did I feel so dumb?
Where was I?
Where was my superman in a brilliant shade of red cape? 
Until one day, I screamed loud enough to shake the earth.
Here he was…coming to save me.
Xanax, my sweet, sweet Xanax. 
You swooped in with grace and took action. 
You served a world of justice and peace in this war stricken mind of mine. 
Where have you been all my life? 
Where have you been?
At age 24, all I can do now is show my gratitude.
My mind is clear and joyous.
It is one thought after another, in a nicely organized fashion.
The world seems brighter and I can finally say that I’m happy.
The me before Prozac is back and ready to take on new adventures. 
I’ve gained the courage to go out and meet new people, people I can now call my friends.
Without you, I wouldn’t have had the courage to meet the guy who now has my heart.
I have even found my calling for a new career, thanks to you, Xanax.
I remain passionate about the mental illness community.
I will stand up and be an advocate.
One day become a licensed therapist.
Until then, it’s one step at a time…

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